I usually don't do this.......

I must say that I am rather upset today, actually if I were to tell you exactly the words for how I feel my Mom would probably yell at me!! HAHAHA!! Today was supposed to be an exciting day. Lily Ann had her 9 month appointment this morning with her doctor and I couldn't wait to see how much she weighed! We were told at her 6 month appointment that we had to maintain her weight because she was off the charts for her weight(19lbs. 14.0oz. and 25inches!)So we were told that she is to get no more than 26 oz. of formula a day and only 1/2 jar(4oz. baby jars) of each fruit, meat, and vegetables for lunch and dinner and to keep her on her 2 tbs of rice cereal in the mornings! Done yay I thought now we will really get control of this because this is what we were told to do!! Well we were doing this at first and then I decided to lower it just a bit so what we ended up doing was she was getting 1/2jar of mixed veggies&meat combined(turkey and vegetables, chicken and apples,..etc) along with 1/2 jar of fruit! Here I am thinking "well technically this is actually 1/2 jar less per meal when the 2 are already combined there is no way that she will be over her weight when we take her back at 9 months!"

LA and I head to the doctor this morning.(Jacob was called out on a case so he wasn't able to meet us, and to tell you the truth it was probably better off that way!) I'm so excited I can't stand it because I just know that we have been on the right track these past few months, or so I thought!! WRONG!! LA weighed in at a whopping 23 lbs.7oz and is 27.5 inches tall!! I was so let down that she had gained about 3 1/2 lbs. over the past few months when we were supposed to maintain her weight! I thought I was going to cry and I knew that the doctor was not going to be happy and I was right!! I just about broke down when he said that "she is off the charts again!" I told him that I don't know how that I was doing everything he was telling me to do actually that I was feeding her less than he had said and yet she still gained the weight!! His response was "This is the time when babies fat cells start to develop. It is very important that you start portion control. I(meaning the doctor) was overweight all my life and what I went through no child should ever have to go through! I wish that someone had told my mom and dad about portion control when I was a child!" With tears in my eyes I said "I do not want this for my child or anyone Else's. I could not live with myself knowing that I have done this to my child!" I just wanted to break down and cry because today for the first time since having Lily Ann I have felt like an inadequate mother. Like I am doing something wrong that is going to hurt my child! As I'm sitting here wiping the tears from my eyes I keep saying to myself that she is a baby and babies do get fat and once they really start crawling and walking then that's when they shed the pounds! I'm not a mother who lets her child eat whatever she wants when ever she wants. I understand (according to her doctor) that she apparently has a slow metabolism and that it may take her longer to get rid of weight than it will others. I just don't know if I understand the whole portion thing at this age! I understand that she has been gaining weight and I understand that it is up to me, her mother, to make sure that she fed and taken care of. This really just stresses me out because growing up I was lucky enough to not have any weight problems and let me tell you how big I was as a baby..Way bigger than LA!! Weight was something that I almost never or ever really worried about.. Now I feel like I'm constantly feeling like I need to put my baby on a diet because I do not want her to have weight problems and I feel that I feel this way because of the way her doctor tells us that we should really slow down on her eating.. Isn't this going to give my baby a weight complex teaching her this at this age!?! I'm stuck in between a crossroad. I will do what her doctor tells me to do because he is a doctor and he has seen this many times before... I also feel that he presses this issue because of the way he was growing up and I think that he blames his parents for it and wants to educate other parents of what happens when you let your child eat what they want and when they want and to learn portion control..I can not tell you how many times during our conversation this morning that "portion size" came up!! I am willing to do whatever it takes that make sure that my daughter is healthy and happy! I would never compromise my daughters health because I feel that she needs to eat more or less. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else has run across this problem with their child? How much does your baby eat? Etc..I'm all ears!!

I know that I am a good mother.. I know that LA is a very healthy, happy baby girl! I try not to let things get under my skin but this has just rocked me to the core! I know that God will lead me in the right direction I just have to give him time to get his message to me..Because apparently I missed it!! LOL!! WHEW...I had to get that off my chest and man do I feel better!! On a better note.. I will be taking Lily Ann to get her pictures made today to surprise Daddy for father's day!! Awww I have some really cute ideas in my head and I hope they play out in the studio!! I will post the pictures soon and do a 9 month posting for Lily Ann!!

Oh my I almost forgot to inform you! As many of you know we live in Government Housing here in Florida..Basically the Government bought 8 houses in a community and lease them out for people who are stationed here! Nice housing I must add!! Anyways this community that we live in is a deed restricted community..Since we are owned by the government we are not part of the deed restrictions and the older people in the neighborhood absolutely hate us!! Literally they hate us.. They will call the station if there is grass in the cracks of our driveways, we've been called before because Jacob will sometimes take his motorcycle out for an evening ride 8 o'clock or even sometimes take it to work.(Which he leaves at 625am and apparently it's too early to start a motorcycle!!) Well it seems as if one of our lovely neighbors decided to send a letter, yes a letter one of Florida's Congressman telling how the houses are trashed, no one ever mows there lawns and basically that these 8 Coast Guard houses are bringing down the community! It couldn't be the 25 houses in this neighborhood that have been foreclosed on, where the grass is up to the roofs!! No it's not those houses it's our the one's with grass in the cracks of our driveways!! HAHAHA!! I just had to add that in because I think that it is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard!! Had to end this post on a funny note!!